baseball and stuff.

Last night the Philadelphia Phillies won the NLCS securing their chance into the World Series. This is the first time since 1993 that they’ve had this shot, so the city is in an uproar of super fandom, honking their horns at anything with a “Ph” in it. Everyone has rushed out and bought crisp brand new hats, and they’re getting all sticky and excited like the time I lost my virginity. That was gross. I apologize. All in all, everyone is all fired up and shitting fire. Or “phire” if you’re you a dumbshit.

I have now lived in Philadelphia for approaching three years now and I have yet to ever hear of these “Phillies” that everyone seems so excited about all of the sudden. I always thought that people were ranting and raving about “cigars” whenever the name arose. I always agreed with a smile saying “yeah, you’re right! They are number one!” boy, do I feel like a dummy. They’re talking about a generally mid-rate sports team comprised of dudes with dumb facial hair.

So off they go, to lose in the world series. I say lose because my hopes and dreams are that the Atlanta Braves are going to swoop in and sweep the pennant. I know that is literally impossible, but then again Chipper has proven he can do anything.
I also say lose due to the Billy Penn Curse, because a gentleman’s agreement should never be broken. That’s some next level classic shit. Seriously, unwritten rules stand true in most cases..
*don’t fuck babies (no matter how hot they are)
*don’t fuck dogs (no matter how hot they are)
*women are crazy, but boobs make it worth it.
*don’t trust herons with your pots and pans
*drinking to excess is good for you

If you can’t agree with that you’re a terrorist, and we at the Compound wont stand for that. Not one bit. Ever vigilant.

In the long run maybe they’ll win and everyone in the city can lighten up for a minute. My friends will be stoked, that’s for sure. I’ll be there on the couch clapping along, because its pretty cool when your friends are acting like baseball on the tv is like a stripper being in the same room.
In closing, fuck you yankies. The south will rise again.

I leave you with this totally related video…